


Just Miracles: The Hidden Plot

by endlessmasquerading, ofreverentia



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Banter, Crack, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Magical Realism, We obviously were not sane that day, it wasn't even night, what are tags I don't know her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-26 21:48:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17754083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endlessmasquerading/pseuds/endlessmasquerading, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofreverentia/pseuds/ofreverentia
Summary: When the brain of too many people end up writing ridiculous crack based on Just Miracles of the Matter, may contain minor plot reveal, most essential parts have been removed. Text order may differ from actual conversation.





	Just Miracles: The Hidden Plot

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: A work by endlessmasquerading + ofreverentia with additional contribution of K1mHeechu1, Anonymous, whosays_penultimate

* * *

Classified foundation document 'the day we do not talk about' or alternatively:

Just Miracles: The Hidden Plot

 

{ THIS SECTION WAS REDACTED BY BRIAN ORSER }

 

With this document we declare the Thursday 10th of January 2018 from never ever having happened. If anyone mentions any part of if, sanctions will apply.

 

Javier Fernandez would request the record to state: He is still the better kisser

* * *

*** HOW IT ALL BEGAN... ***

* * *

 

I trust in Shoma with my own life. Same with Thunder Boy tho is a bit too reckless for my taste on some days.

A bit too reckless for everyone’s taste on some days...Tracy, Brian & Team Japan are t i e r d

Ghislain is....actually pretty zen somehow

* * *

 

I think the only one who is ok with that is Shoma... On some days Javi... And yeah Ghislain is like 'you are doing amazing sweetie'

Shoma just says he can't deal with the shit, still does

Javi is always on for some trouble

* * *

 

Spot on basically

* * *

 

Yeah...In a room with Tracy, Ghislain, Brian on video call, an already smart-mouthing Javi & a sleep deprived Shoma, you kinda need to be exceedingly dumb to start badmouthing Yuzu

* * *

 

Oh boy. He craves death doesn't he?

* * *

 

Apparently.....and Shoma is happy to oblige. He kinda snaps, honestly...sassy Shoma comes out to play

* * *

 

Oh, I live for sassy Shoma, I truly do. I can't wait to see that. I can so imagine him just trying not to fall asleep and than it goes to dissing Yuzu and his eyes snap up to the screen, glare and he goes off

Leaving the room stunned aside from Javi who just goes 'YES, YOU ARE DOING GREAT' lemme join

* * *

 

Hehe, Javi loves it, Javi pretty much wants to lift Shoma up and carry him on his shoulders in a lap of honour around the Foundation for it

* * *

 

For once Shoma would feel tall...

* * *

 

Just whatever you do Javi, don’t tell him about kissing Yuzu whilst he’s up there - he hasn’t slept in like 24 hours or something, don’t run the risk of provoking the jealous streak

* * *

 

Oh boy... I mean he better not because those thighs can cut his head off, I mean up there he has them close to his neck... It's a dangerous game to play.

* * *

 

I can change the plot to the story of how Shoma crushed Javi’s neck and killed him in a jealous rage

* * *

 

Javi 'you did so great' and carries him around and suddenly goes 'I carried Yuzu one time on my shoulder... We ended up falling and also somehow kissing. Apparently I was his first kiss'. Shoma casually tightens his thighs and chokes Javi to death.

* * *

 

Whilst a horrified Tracy looks on powerlessly...

Knowing it was a foolish move in the presence of the thighs anyway, never mind with them so close to his neck

* * *

 

Tracy just looks and goes 'well...you dug that hole yourself...'

Brian is busy counting the hair that fell out

Ghislain just going 'you were so amazing sweetie'

* * *

 

Team Japan praying Yuzu comes back soon because lord knows no one else can rein him in and fix the mess.....well, all of them except Kazuki of course, who is probably still just minding his own business, completely oblivious whilst the Foundation burns around him

* * *

 

I have this image of Kazuki standing in the yard, chaos and fire all around him and he just looks around with the expression of 'huh'?

* * *

 

That is the Just Miracles Kazuki life

* * *

 

**Just Miracles: The Hidden Plot**

* * *

 

Sandalwood

Inoki Wood is also a very nice scent. I can see Javi wearing something like that

* * *

 

Sandalwood is Just Miracles Javi's scent so...

* * *

 

although this is through Shoma's eyes to an extent and he's not exactly in the mood for taking down all the top notes at the time

* * *

 

* * *

 

Why Javi smells relaxing. Like a light morning breeze through the forest. Earthy, wood, surrounding him with calmness.

* * *

 

"I'm being stalked by an international organisation and my kind-of-boyfriend might be dead, but Javi smells nice so I' guess I'll just get over it"

* * *

 

'internal panic but wait... Sniffs air... Javi has a really nice scent...' relaxes for a second then panics again

I mean if by chance he does wanna suffocate him with his thighs for being Yuzus first kiss he can take note of his nice scent

* * *

 

Just in the final seconds before Shoma's thighs cut off his oxygen, Javi is saved by Shoma pausing and going "Wait.....is that sandalwood and vanilla?"

....and Yuzu ends up being the one with something to be jealous of.....

* * *

 

Well is he jealous of smelling Javi or the fact that the other was strangled by those strong thighs

* * *

 

I mean, I was really more just imagining Shoma going in for a kiss to even the score

* * *

 

So Javi, you were Yuzus first kiss... Lemme see how that was... And when Yuzu is back there will be a lot of thunder and rain in his small little garden when he learns about it

* * *

 

'Javi has a nice smell, sandalwood...i noted when our lips touched'  
Yuzu: YOU WHAT?

Shoma: shit... But to my defense... Apparently he was your first kiss.  
Yuzu: Listen... I can explain...

* * *

 

All-out war could well break out if Yuzu and Shoma keep trying to one-up each other

* * *

 

And Javi is just there like.... Uhm... Guys?

Kazuki joining him... Huh?

Keiji rolling his eyes and throwing his hands up in defeat

* * *

 

Satton sighing deeply, putting her headphones on, closing her eyes and turning up the volume,

Jason full devastated...

Ashley and Adam live tweeting the whole thing

* * *

 

Shibs live streaming the whole thing

* * *

 

Brian sticking his head nervously out of his office door....'Ghislain, I told  you to keep an eye on them whilst I took a nap for five minutes.....'

* * *

 

Ghislain: 'Huh? What? They have been talking to each other or no?'

Like he doesn't get the concept of near murder in front of his eyes

* * *

 

Brian: "Everything's on fire, Ghislain"  
Ghislain: "It's cute. Let kids be kids."   
Brian: "They're in their twenties & there is broken glass everywhere AND I THINK JAVI MIGHT BE DEAD, GHISLAIN"

* * *

 

Ghislain: "Huh? I saw him breathing before. He was carrying Shoma all cute in his shoulders."

Brian: "HE IS NOT MOVING ON THE FLOOR HIS LIPS ARE BLUE!"

* * *

 

Ghislain:"Huh, well what do you know...Yuzu and Shoma are really pretty powerful, huh?"

* Kazuki on the phone to his family * "Can you please come pick me up, I don't know what's happening but I think I might benext on Shoma's kill list..."

* * *

 

Kazuki in the bg : "Uhm... Why is Nobu screaming and his clothes are burnt? Are the Shibs recording? Maybe I should just... " *slowly backs away*

* * *

 

Jason standing on a chair in the middle of it all: "GUYS, I FEEL LIKE IF WE ALL JUST TOOK A BIG DEEP BREATH AND HUGGED IT OUT-"   * Nobu is sent flying, almost knocking Jason over * "....OK, so maybe a different plan then..."

* * *

 

Keiji: "I am way too old for this and I am like what? 21? I didn't sign up for this...Kazuki can you like take me with you?"

* * *

 

Brian: You know what, Kazuki? Could you take me with  you too.....I don't think this is the career for me after all

* * *

 

* Jun hiding under a table * DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THEM

* * *

 

Satoko: " Wait up! I am going too. There is nothing for me to do here anymore "

Keiji + Kazuki : * dragging Jason because he was knocked out by Nobu, leave Nobu tho, idiots are left behind *

* * *

 

Yuzu + Shoma : * sending shit flying at each other * YOU KISSED JAVI!  
Shoma:  You first... So I just evened out the score

* * *

 

Yuzu, standing on top of potentially-dead-Javi: WHO ELSE DID YOU KISS, SHOMA??? WHO ELSE NEEDS TO DIE, HUH?  
Shoma, standing on top of potentially-dead-Nobu: I COULD ASK YOU THE SAME THING, YOU WERE HERE FOR YEARS BEFORE ME, I'VE GOT A LOT OF GROUND TO MAKE UP, CLEARLY

* * *

 

Yuzu: I ONLY KISSED THIS IDIOT AND IT WAS ONE TIME *kicks potentially dead Javi *  
Shoma: WHAT ABOUT KAZUKI??? *points at poor boy who is about to make a silent escape but suddenly is yanked backwards flying across the room to drop between potentially dead Javi and Nobu *

* * *

 

Keiji, sighing: and we were SO close to freedom...  
Satoko, shrugging: I mean...we could still take his ride home without him....

* * *

 

Brian : Kids... It's time to run... Everyone for themselves

* * *

 

Keiji: You know, Satton, we still have Kazuki's taxi.....if we leave now they might never notice.....

* * *

 

Kazuki finally moving : I wanna go home... People are scary here...

* * *

 

Jun: DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE ME UNDER HERE ON MY OWN

* * *

 

Jun : Kazuki, there is room under the table if you want to join

* * *

 

* Tracy appears from nowhere to stand in the middle of the chaos sounding a foghorn *

* * *

 

Tracy : * inhales * the room instantly falls silent and freezes * "Explain. Now. You have two seconds... And for God's sake... Let Kazuki down already... Gently Shoma.."

* * *

 

* Shoma, pouting and lowering Kazuki to the ground *: I wasn't going to do anything he didn't deserve.....

* * *

 

Yuzu : * kicks Javi sulking and as nothing better is present * I didn't do anything

Shoma : WHAT THE FUCK YOU MADE OUT WITH JAVI AND DIDN'T TELL ME

Yuzu : Well you did too???

* * *

 

Ghislain: See, it's all just a little misunderstanding, I'm sure we can fix it in now time - How about we all go out for ice cream and smooth this over huh?  
Brian: Ghislain, no, don't REWARD THEM for this!! My life's work IS ON FIRE & PEOPLE MIGHT HAVE DIED

*  Satoko & Keiji silently and quickly loading up the car with suitcases *  
Keiji, whispering: go, go, go

* * *

 

Javi and Nobu groan in unison : No... I think the idiots healed us...

Javi : Tho.. Yuzu would you be so nice and get off my back also stop kicking me... I am a victim here

Yuzu + Shoma : YOU ARE THE FUCKING REASON FOR THIS ALL. STUPID CASANOVA

Javi shrugs : Not my fault you fell for my charm and scent

* * *

 

Javi: would it help to know I've also kissed half of Team Russia....?  
Yuzu and Shoma in unison: HOW WOULD THAT HELP?!

* * *

 

Zhenya somewhere in the bg : You have to admit he is a good kisser

Everyone : ZHENYA NOT HELPING

* * *

 

Nobu: So is Yuzu  
Everyone: ...wait....what?   
Shoma: WAIT....WHAT?!?!?   
Keiji: Wow my friends are idiots....

* * *

 

Satoko : so close.....

Shoma : * wind howling * WHO ALL DID YOU KISS HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT.

* * *

 

Tracy: Oh boy....take cover, and Jun, for goodness sake, do not come out from under that table, you hear me?! You stay put 'til me or Brian can come get  you!!!

* * *

 

Yuzu : * shrugs * I mean... We play games... Not like you haven't done some dares before right? It was just a small peck...

Nobu : "I recall a bit differently"

Everyone : NOBU SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY

Brain : * goes bald *

* * *

 

Keiji: Oh god, I think Kazuki is coming too....  
Shoma: WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT

* * *

 

Yuzu : SHOMA CAN YOU LIKE CHILL?? IT'S IN THE PAST? I DON'T INTEND TO KISS ANYONE ELSE IN THE FUTURE THO OTHER THAN YOU

Everyone : * le gasp *

Shoma : * winds stops howling, tiny voice * what?

* * *

 

* Keiji & Satton grabbing onto each other * : Oh my god, it's happening....

* Nobu opens mouth*  
Everyone: NO   
* Nobu quickly closes mouth and lies back down *

* * *

 

* Ashley & Adam start chanting make out make out make out, joined by the Shibs *

* * *

 

Shoma : * all red, still tiny voice * really?

Yuzu : * nods with equally red cheeks *

* * *

 

* Alex getting Maia to hold her phone light to make sure the scene is lit better and more aesthetically pleasing, and begins adjusting camera angles for cinematic quality direction *

Jason, squeaking: ohmygodyouguys

* * *

 

everyone: holding their breath

* * *

 

Jun: Can I come out from under the table yet?  
Everyone: SHHHHHHHHHH

* * *

 

Yuzu + Shoma : * slowly walking towards each other, petals starting to scatter around them, sun is shining & warm on their skin * So... * in unison *

* * *

 

* Nobu sneezes *  
Everyone: * collective facepalm *

* * *

 

Yuzu + Shoma : * undisturbed, eyes on each other, stopping a feet away *

* * *

 

Jason hands Nobu a tissue without looking away from Yuzu and Shoma

* * *

 

Yuzu : "I am sorry Javi was my first kiss... But you weren't here and you are a much better kisser"

* * *

 

Jason is also full-on sobbing....

* * *

 

Javi in the bg : HEY

Everyone : Shut up!

Javi : * pouts and mumbles * I am a better kisser tho...

* * *

 

Eric *whispers to Javi*  it's okay you're not so bad yourself *wink*

* * *

 

Evgenia: Keep talking and you won't be able to kiss ever again

* * *

 

Jun: seriously guys, is it ok to come out now?

Everyone: N O

* * *

 

Tracy: Not until there is a responsible adult to come get you! Ghislain doesn't count!

Ghislain, shrugging: Fair

* * *

 

Brian : Obviously... * points at the mess *

* * *

 

Yuzu: anyway, Shoma, like i was saying

* * *

 

Shoma : Yes... I was listening

Yuzu : I would rather kiss you tho

Shoma :... Okay

* * *

 

*chants of make out intensify*

* * *

 

* Yuzu + Shoma leans towards each other *

Everyone : OH MY GOD

* * *

 

Jason: Nathan, get your guitar and play something sappy!  
Nathan: First of all? Don't drag me into this. Second of all? No.

* * *

 

Itsuki somewhere in Japan : I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO

* * *

 

Shoma: NO ONE ASKED  YOU, GO DO YOUR HOMEWORK

Shoma to Yuzu: And no helping him with it.

Yuzu: _pouts_

* * *

 

Also Shoma : can I sleep now?

Yuzu : aww, yes babe you can

Shoma blushing : stop calling me that

* * *

 

Yuzu: Wait, Ghislain, do we still get ice cream?

Ghislain: Of course, Yuzu! What flavour do  you want? I'll just get everything and you can pick.

Tracy and Brian: GHISLAIN, NO!

* * *

 

Shoma pills Yuzus sleeve: Can I get chocolate?

Yuzu : Chocolate, vanilla and definitely strawberry.

Ghislain : of course.

Brian + Tracy : I give up.

* * *

 

* Jun, muffled from under the table *: Can I have cookie dough?

* * *

 

Brian throws hands in the air : Fine everyone gets ice cream, after you cleaned up the mess.

Everyone : But it was the two of them

Brian : E. V. E. R. Y. O. N. E

* * *

 

Keiji: I would have described Javi and Nobu's contributions as also unhelpful, honestly....

* * *

 

Javi: * pouts *

* * *

 

Tracy glares at Keiji : You young man.. Will be the first to pick up the broken plates. I saw you hijacking Kazuki ride.

* * *

 

Javi: i've done my nails today i can't help with cleaning

* * *

 

Evgenia: You help clean or I will use you as a mop

* * *

 

Jun: Does that mean I can come out from under the table now?

* * *

 

Tracy: I'd leave it a couple days, honestly.

* * *

 

Brian : Definitely... This went too quick

Javi : I am still a better kisser

* * *

 

Evgenia: Shoma's cuter than you Javier

* * *

 

Yuzu to Shoma falling asleep: Shoma not there, you're getting ice cream in your hair....

* * *

 

Yuzu opens his arms and cuddles him.

Shoma: We need a pillow tho, you're too boney, it'll be uncomfortable

* * *

 

* Jason about to combust from trying not to. say aw *

* * *

 

Yuzu: here *grabs the Pooh and puts it underneath Shomas head : Is this better, love?

* * *

 

Nobu : So did we actually list all the people Yuzu kissed here already?

Everyone: MURDER HIM

* * *

 

Shoma: eyes snapping open

* * *

 

Zhenya: let me stab him with my pretty rose gold blades

* * *

 

Nobu: What did I say?!  
Keiji: I need new friends.

* * *

 

Shoma *wind starts to pick up *

* * *

 

Zhenya, looking from the side: No, you need a new haircut, Keiji

* * *

 

Yuzu slowly backs away... Uhm... Shoma... Babe... We covered this

* * *

 

Alex and Maia appear from behind a wall holding up their phones: Here we go, the thrilling sequel....

* * *

 

Jason to no one in particular: Quick, do something to stop this

* * *

 

Zhenya: Ah yes. The sequel. Kill Nobu

* * *

 

Nathan: For the last time, I'm not singing anything

* * *

 

Jason: PLEASE, NATE, JUST ONE SONG

* * *

 

Yuzu: starts singing himself to put Shoma to sleep

* * *

 

Javi : Obviously I am the only adult here...

* * *

 

Zhenya: hahahahahahaha

* * *

 

Tracy : Javi, I like you. I truly do but if you don't shut up I make sure you ain't kissing anybody... Ever... Again

* * *

 

Satoko: Really, Javi? The person sitting holding a little sign saying " Still the better kisser " is the only adult here...?

* * *

 

Javi: * winking * what you don't believe?

Satoko: ew, go away please

* * *

 

Zhenya: You're as much and adult as Adam is straight

* * *

 

Zhenya: Also wink at her again and you'll lose that eye

* * *

 

Adam : HEY DON'T PULL ME AND MY SEXUALITY IN THIS MESS

* * *

 

Jason: ... it's true tho

* * *

 

Adam : Still... Excuse!

* * *

 

Jun: PLEASE SAVE ME

* * *

 

Ashley to Adam : You are excused

* * *

 

Adam:.... also if you need singing, I'm your man

Everyone: N O

* * *

 

Alex: So....I hear "Anywhere Else But Here" is a great vacation spot at this time of year......who's with me?

* * *

 

Maia: But the footage

* * *

 

Jun: I'm not, bc I can't get out

* * *

 

Satoko flips the table because she had enough

* * *

 

Everyone gasps

* * *

 

Jun: FREEDOM!

* * *

 

Tracy: CHA JUNHWAN I TOLD YOU TO STAY UNDER THE TABLE!

* * *

 

Jun : BUT SATOKO

* * *

 

Tracy : I SAID STAY! UNDER THE TABLE YOUNG MAN

* * *

 

Jun, crouching back down and holding very still in a small voice: Ok.

* * *

 

* Jun continues to curl up as though the table is still there *

* * *

 

Ghislain from the distance : I MADE COOKIES WHO WANTS?

Brian : End me now

* * *

 

Jason, at Nathan: Do you think we can hide him in your guitar case and Tracy wouldn't notice?

* * *

 

* Jason and Nathan trying to cram Jun into the guitar case * : How are you this TALL

* * *

 

Jun:  I am sorry...It's not my fault! * whimpers *

* * *

 

Jason: Shut up and tinify yourself

* * *

 

* Yuzuru happily eating cookies *: Kazuki, you want one?  
Shoma: WHY ARE YOU OFFERING HIM COOKIES?!?!   
Keiji: Can I get in the guitar case with Jun please....

* * *

 

Zhenya: No, you'll give him your bad hair cooties

* * *

 

Keiji: hey, who has bad hair?? *flips his gorgeous mane from one side to another

* * *

 

Zhenya : You

* * *

 

Javi: * snorts and files his nails *

* * *

 

Jason: Jun, don't worry, we'll get a cello case, you'll fit in that one

* * *

 

Jun: It needs to be a double bass, I don't think I'll fit in the cello one!

* * *

 

Nathan: takes a cookie and munches: These are pretty good, Ghislain!

* * *

 

Ghislain : thank you I put extra choco chip in them

Nathan: Wait I am allergic to chocolate...

* * *

 

Zhenya: DOES ANYONE HAVE AN EPIPEN * Nathan dying as he is allergic to chocolate *

* * *

 

Yuzu: Maybe i should give him mouth to mouth

Shoma: *snaps finger to heal Nathan before that happens *

* * *

 

Zhenya:.... or that. That works too

* * *

 

Shoma sends everyone flying before they can even be close to Yuzu, heals Nathan

Shoma : We are leaving

Nobu : ohohoho jealous Shoma appeared

Everyone * facepalm *

* * *

 

Nathan: I would just like to remind everyone that I was sitting here minding my own business, and this is how. you repay me for being the only one to apprently not kiss Javi, Yuzuru or Shoma....

* * *

 

* pops in * Sergei: I heard kissing and Javi

* * *

 

Nobu : Actually... There was that one time where Nathan and Yuzu...

* * *

 

Yuzu : I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU NOBUNARI

* * *

 

Shoma starts to vibrate: Nathan..... what does Nobunari mean

* * *

 

Shoma : I should have let Nathan die apparently

* * *

 

Nathan, panicked: There was no kissing, we only held hands --- yes, hands

Nobu: well, there's true there was some Holding, but -

* * *

 

Satoko:....I have a headache

* * *

 

Shoma : * wind gets stronger, rain mixed in between *

* * *

 

Shoma : I guess I just murder everyone and problem is solved

Nobu: Not quite... There are some people on trips now. You may need to wait

* * *

 

Brian, helping himself to gin: This is looking more and more like a good idea

* * *

 

Shoma: WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT YUZURU???

* * *

 

Shoma: HOW MANY PEOPLE DID YOU KISS TRULY

Yuzu : a couple....

* * *

 

Yuzu:....hundred.

* * *

 

Zhenya: * facepalms *

* * *

 

Shoma : WE ARE DIVORCED

Yuzu : We are not married... Wait you would marry me?

Shoma : Not anymore

Yuzu : But you would have?

Shoma :... Yes?

* * *

 

*Jason gasps *

* * *

 

Yuzu : Sho....

Shoma * goes red *

* * *

 

Jun: HELP I AM STUCK

Alex *pulls out his video camera *

* * *

 

Keiji: SHHHH, JUN, NOT NOW

Jun: That's what people said last time and I ended up under the table for a day....

* * *

 

Yuzu : So... Shoma... * takes his hand * maybe we can work this out?

Shoma : You kissed so many

Yuzu : Not anymore... I only kiss you now and forever

* * *

 

* Jason runs up to the balcony and stars throwing rose petals *

Shoma: I will end you

Jason: * stops dead still  *

* * *

 

A single petal falls out of his grasp to land on Shoma's nose

Yuzu tries to hold back a cackle

* * *

 

* Shoma holds perfectly still, balancing the petal *

* Everyone holds their breath *

* Nobu opens his mouth to speak and Satoko immediately closes it for him *: I wouldn't, if I were you....

* * *

 

* Yuzu reaches for the petal, gently taking it off, placing a kiss on said cute nose * Cutie.

* * *

 

Shoma: * blushes and smiles *

* * *

 

Jason, squeaking: ohmygod - I did that, I made that happen!

Yuzu & Shoma: * look up to glare at him *

* * *

 

Jason: Or....not....* hides *

* * *

 

Alex: This is golden stuff guys, youtube is gonna love this

* * *

 

Brian: I'll get your channel terminated Shibutani

* * *

 

Alex: oops Brian i thought you were too drunk to care....sorry 'bout that

* * *

 

Jun: Instead of doing that, could you maybe open the cello case and help me please?

* * *

 

Tracy: Serves you right. You were safe under the table

* * *

 

Jun: The table moved!

* * *

 

Satoko : My bad

* * *

 

Tracy: THEN YOU SHOULD'VE MOVED WITH THE TABLE

* * *

 

Jun: That sounds.....painful.....

* * *

 

Jun: Ah yes. Yeeted myself across the room

* * *

 

Yuzu: Sounds fair to me

* * *

 

Yuzu: now shut up, everyone, Shoma was gonna propose to me

Shoma: I was?

* * *

 

Javi: Would now be a bad time to mention Yuzu once proposed to me......?

Everyone: WHY WOULD YOU?!

* * *

 

Zhenya, on the back: THAT WAS A JOKE, IT'S BECAUSE YOU SAVED POOH FROM FACEPLANTING ON THE ICE JAVIER

Javi, emotional: WELL IT WASN'T A JOKE TO ME

Shoma: That's it Fernandez. Outside, we settle this like men

* * *

 

Jun: I'll marry. you if you let me OUT OF THE CELLO CASE

* * *

 

Yuzu, grimacing: that is true desperation right there

Javi: I'm literally standing right here - I CAN HEAR. YOU

* * *

 

Zhenya: You're inside a cello case you're hardly a man

* * *

 

Yuzu: This also started because Shoma almost killed Javi with his thighs,

Jun: What are you gonna do - noodle yourself into a noose?!

* * *

 

Jun: Currently all I'm doing is being stuck inside a cello case

* * *

 

Javi: look i have to confess, i really like the both of you, why can't we all get married??

* * *

 

Kazuki: Guys, has anyone else noticed the cello case keeps talking...

* * *

 

Everyone : We don't wanna marry you Javi

Javi : Ouch that hurt my feelings...again

* * *

 

Jun: I think that might be the point

Zhenya: it is the point Jun Hwan Challo

* * *

 

Zhenya: Javi, shut up or I'll hurt something else

* * *

 

Javi: Guess i'll go back to Spain and grow my Chaplin moustache

Yuzu: bai bai~

* * *

 

Eric : please don't

Eric : you can leave but not that caterpillar pls

Adam : definitely reduces your chances for kisses or marriage

* * *

 

Zhenya: How can you reduce something already at zero?

* * *

 

Keiji: I think the bigger issue we are all failing to appreciate here.....is why do we have a cello case when none of us plays the cello?

* * *

 

Jason and Nathan look at each other: ... don't ask

* * *

 

Satoko : that's your fucking problem?

* * *

 

Jun: Wait, I'm inside a cello case of unknown origins?!?! I HAVE LOST & FOUND CELLO GERMS ON ME?!

* * *

 

Zhenya: please someone bite the bullet and get Brian again. I can't open this case

* * *

 

Yuzu: Ghislain will help!

Jun: I do not find that comforting....

* * *

 

Kazuki: Does anyone have a cigarette?

Satoko: Since when do you smoke??

Kazuki: I feel like starting now

Javi: cigarettes are bad for you, son

* * *

 

Tracy : I don't condone but today is an exception *holds out a package for him*

* * *

 

Satoko: Are you happy, now? You see what you all did? You broke Kazuki.

* * *

 

Jun: PLEASE OPEN THE CELLO CASE UNLESS YOU'RE GHISLAIN

* * *

 

Kazuki: *dragging a smoke wearily* Small mercies....

* * *

 

Jun: Could someone describe oxygen to me? Is it nice? How does it feel to breathe it?

* * *

 

Jun: I hope you all realise that my limbs will forever be crushed into this position now. Bye bye flexibility

* * *

 

Shoma's eyes shot open, all angry : SHUT IT I AM TRYING TO REST HERE.

* * *

 

* **LATER** *

Shibs editing the video and uploading to a restricted channel for foundation members only, getting a copyright strike from Brian

* * *

 

Ashley and Adam having their twitters deactivated so they set up secret side-accounts they think Brian doesn't know about

Yuzu tells on them

A formal contract drawn up at the end in which Tracy and Brain swear to never both be out at the same time to leave Ghislain in charge ever again


End file.
